I've had a break through
10 days ago I made myself a commitment: do Ashtanga yoga every day for a minimum of 30 days.
Yesterday, on day 9, I had a break through.
The last 2 days I’ve been practicing on my own. (meaning: I didn’t follow a video, nor did I go to a studio.) Ashtanga practice is usually around 90 minutes, but if you’re a beginner and want to build up to it, you can do a 30 minute practice which consists of the fundamentals and main standing poses.
Yesterday, for the first time, I didn’t get frustrated, or distracted, or out of breath.
For the first time, my movement, my breath and my focus were all in sync.
It felt so, so good.
Up until this point, I’ve been doing it because I committed to it. Not because I particularly loved it.
The first week was hard. It brought up a lot of emotions, I got frustrated (a lot), and my commitment to me was the only thing that kept me going.
Yesterday I loved every minute of my practice. I felt strong, I’ve gotten much more flexible, and I felt present, focused, and connected.
With my body, my breath, and my mind.
Remember how I said that on Day 3 I wanted to quit? (this post here)
I wanted to quit because I wasn’t good at it. (I’m still not that good at it.) I wanted to quit because it was hard, unfamiliar, challenging, and I’ve never done anything like it.
When trying something new, I subconsciously expect myself to be great at it.
Isn’t that funny? It’s almost if you were to walk into your first Italian language class, and expect to be fluent by the end of it. Wellll… that’s not how it work! It takes a ton of practice, consistency, and patience!
What I’m trying to say is, it took me 9 days to have a good, focused practice. I wanted to quit on Day 3, but I kept going. I want to get better at Ashtanga, I want to be able to do a headstand and then ultimately a hand stand. But until then… I’m failing. A lot.
I mean, I can’t count the amount of times I’ve lost my balance or muttered a little ‘goddamnit’ under my breath when I couldn’t do a pose.
Remember — let yourself fail. Let yourself get frustrated, impatient, upset, annoyed.
Let yourself feel those emotions, but then keep going.
As an old, wise man told me once:
“You need only 3 things in life to be successful at anything.
Patience, Commitment and Faith.”
Keep practicing, keep failing, and don’t give up.