Hello, self-doubt

“Doubt wakes up when we strive for anything new or better. It recognizes that in those moments when our ambition rises, its very existence is in peril — for should we rise to accomplish our goals with confidence again and again, then it might be destroyed.“

I struggle with self doubt.

At work, in relationships, and especially when it comes to my creativity.

My process goes something like this:

- I come up with an idea
- I get VERY EXCITED
- I start writing down the idea, planning on how to make it happen
- I finally start working on the idea, it’s going well, I’m still excited, but a little less now
- I get worried.
Is this good enough? Does it make sense? Is this completely stupid and I can’t see it yet? What will people think? Why am I working on this? Ohgod it’s really bad isn’t it

Then… I either overcome my self doubt and continue working on fulfilling the project, or I freeze, give up, and try to come up with a “better” one.

I’ve been getting much better at letting go of doubt and going past self criticism, fear and judgement.

I wrote an article that got published in one of the world’s top personal development websites (THIS one)
Guess what? I ALMOST didn’t send it in, because I thought it wasn’t well written and that the editors will think it’s not good enough.

Well… thank god I sent it in, because it did get published.

Whether you’re a writer, professional athlete or farmer, I am preeetty confident when I say that this is Universal and we all go through it.

Will people read what I write? Will I be good enough to enter the Olympics? Will my crops be good this year, or am I just a shit farmer?

I’m currently working on a new project. Something that I never thought I’ll be able to do (because, um, of my self-doubt), and I am really, really excited.
REALLY SCARED. But really damn excited. I’m only going to tell you, dear reader, what it is. I’m not going to share it on social media, or make a video about it, but I’m only going to put it in writing, right here and now, so you can keep me accountable.

I’m writing a book.

What? You are?? About what??? When???? How come?????

A beautiful idea made its way into my mind unexpectedly. I was sitting at this seminar 2 months ago, listening to my teacher, when suddenly

BAM
It just entered my mind. Out of nowhere, unexpectedly, unannounced.

I kept thinking about it, getting more and more excited with each thought. So… I’m making it happen.

This is something that I wanna do for my soul. My little-not-so-little passion project.

Having said this, you can bet how much self- doubt I have about this.
But the more it scares me, the more I wanna do it.

I want to express my creativity this way. I want to pour all of my heart and soul into this, and show myself just how damn powerful and awesome I am. I want to bring this idea into physical form.

We’re all are wonderful, talented and creative human beings, we just have to trust it.

Let’s all kick self doubt in the butt, and go do new & scary things that make our soul dance.

Lots of love,

Gabie